After the exams...

I have reached India and my exams are over. Though they did not go quite well, especially Micro, I am trying not to think too much about them now. As Vinayak said after the first exam (Micro), "It is now sunk cost. Don't let the other exams become endogenous to performance in the Micro exam. Start afresh." I found the advice very useful. Sometimes, you know what to do, but don't have the eloquence to carry forward what you think is right subconsciously. After saying 'Bye' to Jan at the Green Park tube station, I felt both sad and happy, as always in a dichotomy, for truth is dichotomous and paradoxical. It was a critical point in both our lives. Jan had become a close friend during the past two years and he was now going back to Sweden to pursue a degree in Law, even though he did not fully agree with what he was doing. He had gone from learning, Arabic, Russian, Spanish, Biology, Chemistry, Espionage, Politics and Economics to finally studying law. If he was born in the age where generalists were more prized than specialists, he would have been a resounding success professionally. Though I wish him the very best in life, I think he may have gone a step back after his degree in economics. But that is for him to decide. I will always remember the time spent in Netherhall where I had the chance to discuss topics ranging from Gandhi to Marx, from Japan to Lucknow, about technological prowess and cricketing ability, about the Hindi movies - Sholay, Lagaan, Rang de Basanti and Swades which we saw, about fate, destiny and free will, about the nature of consciousness.

There will always be a void left after he has gone.

I am now in India and deciding what to do about my future. Listened to Sri Sri Ravi Shankar in the morning and listened to his words of wisdom on the Japjee Sahib. Someone asked him why we should not leave averything to fate as everything was decided by destiny. Though I had thought that destiny was what we made of our lives, whereas fate was what would have happened had we not exercised our free will, Sri's answer was very insightful. He said that we should regard the past as fate and the future as free will (again we can see the paradox). But most people regard the the future as fate (everything is already exogenous - we cannot change what is already decided) and the past as free will - Oh! I wish I had done that - aka Micro exam.

Saw the beautiful movie - The March of the Penguins yesterday with Mom and Dad. I had seen it in Netherhall before and had really enjoyed it even then. After watching the film, I realized that there is great harmony in nature, that even penguins show intuition, love, jealousy, industriousness, playfulness, and all the emotions usually only attributed to humans.

I think mind, heart and body are common to all creatures. Its the spirit or the soul that is exclusive to humans or so we think. And yet knowing it, we fail to realize it. The greed for money, power and fame blinds the need for realization of the spirit. I am also a victim of this greed. Gandhi was someone who grasped this so well. I am reading Young India, a collection of articles written by Gandhi between 1924-1926, and written on the issues of art, untouchability, caste system, Hindu-Muslim divide, the nature of God, the root of desire and random thoughts on morality and religion. Am also reading a book, The speed of Trust by Stephen M R Covey, which though not as insightful as Gandhi's Young India gives some food for thought. I will write more about this book as I near its completion.